[big pause looking at everyone in the room getting eye contact all around]

i was about 4 and steve 3 when my dad would ask us in the car

“how much do you love your dad”

[bit of a pause cos i use a slightly different voice and it can be a little emotional] and one of us would say “this big” [gesture with hands} and the other “bigger” [gesture even wider] an i remember say “dad i love you bigger than the whole wide universerse” [pause] precious memories. [look at steve] very. precious. memories. [pause but look around room as saying it] until very recently i thought those words were just a boy trying to impress his dad with how much he loved him. [pause] like other boys in the playground i would boast about my dad. but i KNEW my dad was the best. I KNEW he was the strongest. and he was my dad. [ pause and let the words my dad drop more softly longingly ] it will be a great sadness to me that i will never have another conversation with him. i can no longer ask for his advice about my work, or share my hopes and dreams. he has died [pause and let the bluntness sit]… but our relationship to each other can never die. he will always be my father and i will always be his son. and i believe our souls are connected in some way. [small pause] by love. and that those little boys words were more true than he realised…. our love really is …. bigger. than the whole. wide. universe.