• I can be very indecisive in situations that require stepping up.
• he had the power to call during our estrangement
• reflecting on steve wanting an apology during gerlack troubles.. did get to him
• steve and i had weekends as boys and then lived with him as teenagers
• he was such a big figure
• mum says he kind of had celebrity status

• if not asked to see im not sure what my grief would have been like. buried it if came to the what i now believe is that he loved me….

• i think dad cared significantly about how i felt about him
• not saying i loved him

• asking if i made him proud

• what was it about the elaine thing that dad could openly and repeatedly say he was wrong